Have you ever started to do exercise or an activity only because it is “the best way to burn calories” or “the fastest way to a flat stomach?”, or something along those lines? Have you ever started an activity and initially enjoyed it, but then found rules increasingly creeping in, such as “I have to exercise everyday” or “I have to do at least 40minutes”?
If you answered “yes” to either or both of those questions, what was your level of enjoyment of the activity? How did it change over time? And how long did you continue to do it?
For a lot of people, when they engage in activity in these ways they enjoyment of the activity drops, it starts to feel more like a chore, and over time it becomes harder and harder to keep doing it and eventually falls out of their routine. In place of enjoyment is often stress (“what if I can’t find time for exercise?”, “what if I don’t lose weight?”), and guilt or shame (“I’m not doing enough because my weight hasn’t changed”, “I’m bad, I haven’t exercised for a couple of days”). When the activity falls out of routine (which isn’t surprising because it wasn’t enjoyable), the door is opened to further self guilt and shaming, such as “I never stick at anything. I have no willpower”. This over time can impact openness to return to activity or to try something new. The mind may say, “why bother? I am just going to quit in a few weeks time anyway”. Not fun. Not enjoyable.
But what if moving your body doesn’t have to be that way? What if moving your body can be about enjoyment, as opposed to losing weight or shaping the body?
When we start to let go of the body focus and rules, our attention broadens, and we start to notice more. In noticing more, we can notice things that we enjoy (or not) about movement. Instead of staring at the numbers on the treadmill, you may get absorbed in a podcast or audiobook, you may rock out to music, or you may enjoy how it feels to move your body. Or you may choose a different activity all together as with the increased information gained from the broadening focus you realize there isn’t anything you enjoy about it.
When we engage in movement because we enjoy it, we start to look forward to doing it and want to do it more. It doesn’t feel as much like a chore (most of the time). That being said, even the most enjoyable activities can feel like a chore at times, or less enjoyable. That is ok. We are human, we are going to experience fluctuations (more on that in an upcoming blog Joyful Movement That You Wont Always Enjoy). The focus of this post is more about breaking out of rule governed and/or body changing focus of movement.
So, let’s move towards loosening our grip on the rules and body focus, and reconnect with the enjoyment of movement. A step towards this taking time to think about when you have enjoyed moving your body or exercise, and what it is was that you enjoyed. It may have been you enjoyed moving your body to music and dancing, or you may have enjoyed feeling strong when lifting weights, or you may have enjoyed the social aspect of team sports, or you enjoyed the sense of productivity after a thorough clean of the house. Everyone is different. Pause, what have you enjoyed?
If you can’t think of times you have enjoyed movement because it just has never been your thing, or it has always been attached to weight loss and burning calories, take a moment to think of anything that you would like to try?
Once you have identified what you have previously liked, or things you would like to try, you can start to explore ways that you can connect with that. It may be signing up for a class or connecting with a local club, or something from the privacy of your own home. It doesn’t have to be big. You don’t have to sign up to a whole dance class, you can turn a song on at home and rock out to it. Break things into smaller pieces if something seems too big or you are unsure. Remember this is about letting go of the rules, experimenting and trying to find where the enjoyment is for you.
One of the challenges when looking online or reaching out to clubs, is often you will encounter people who are rule and/or body focused. Some people are able to disregard this, and stay connected to their own journey of enjoying movement, while others find themselves getting pulled into or reacting in someway to it (I find I get irritated and angry at it). If you are more of the latter, it can be helpful to find people and communities who are also focused more on enjoyment, as opposed to calorie burning. If you find those communities, share and let others know, so they can also join in the fun.
When you feel yourself being pulled back to the rules (which you will because those thoughts have been there for a long time and those around you may speak the rules), take a moment to ask yourself the following;
- Have those rules or body focus been helpful in the past (both short term & long term)? Have they brought you enjoyment? Have they been sustainable?
- What do you want movement to be about for you?
If following those old rules hasn’t been helpful in the past, they probably won’t be in the future. If following the old rules, doesn’t bring you closer to what you want movement to be about for you, it doesn’t make sense to hold on to them.
Let go of, or hold lightly, the rules and connect with what you enjoy. Go have fun!
drsarahpegrum 