For years I have heard stories, both in my clinical room and outside of it, of people putting things on hold or holding back because of how they feel about their weight. The stories that begin with ‘when I lose weight I will…’ or ‘I can’t until…’. But as we wait, the world rolls on. People grow old. Opportunities and experiences come and go.
The image that comes to mind is of a child, standing on the edge of the playground watching all the other children play. Waiting. Separated from the other children by this barrier of societal construction of weight. The child stays there. Watching. Waiting for weight. The image saddens me for so many reasons. I am sad for the child looking in at all the other children on the playground, feeling disconnected and missing out. I feel sad for the children in the playground, because they are missing out on being able to play with that awesome little child. I feel sad because our time of the playground is so fleeting. How much of that fleeting time is to be lost to standing outside looking in?
What if we can take steps towards removing that barrier, and move towards playing with the other children in the playground? I get excited and happy and the prospect of that.
Let us try to take steps to take that barrier down.
Exercise: Think of a role that you hold in your life that is important to you. It may be as a parent, a child, a sibling, a partner, a friend, a teammate, a colleague, a student, or something else. Now think about what someone who is really good in that role is like. What are key things that make a person good in that role (e.g. what makes a good parent, or good friend, or good partner)? Write it down.
Now look at that list. Is weight on it? Are the things on it weight dependent or can action be taken towards then regardless of where a person’s weight is? For example, loving, kind or compassionate often come up when I ask people about different roles. No matter what your weight is, you can be loving, kind and compassionate to another person.
Looking at that list, are there steps you can take towards any of those things on that list? Doesn’t have to be a big step. It can be a baby step.
This is the beginning of pulling away that barrier. You can step into that playground. You don’t need to stand on the outside, waiting. Take a small step. Let us see what can happen.
drsarahpegrum 